Stories of Healing: Allison
For over three decades, Allison struggled with her body image and disordered eating. From binging, to purging, to taking diet pills, she tried everything to find that “perfect” image. With the support of her family, Allison found healing and hope through Rock Recovery's individual therapy and faith support programming, leading her to victory over a long, 33-year battle.
Allison, Rock program graduate, her husband, and newborn daughter
Eight years old, standing in line waiting to leap across the dance floor, when suddenly I caught a glimpse in the mirror and saw my legs rubbing together and my belly protruding out. At that moment, I noticed that I was the biggest in the class, and I began hating my body. That moment started a 33 year battle with an eating disorder.
Soon after this moment, I made the decision to quit dance and devote my life to sports, excelling in school, and participating in any type of extracurricular activity that I could. In hindsight, all these actions were a girl’s search for purpose, meaning, validation, and peace with herself, her thoughts, her actions, and her body.
Throughout the years, my disordered eating manifested itself in a variety of ways: over-exercising, restrictive dieting, food obsession, weight obsession, binging, purging, diet pills - I engaged in pretty much every form of disordered eating. Yes, there were periods of relief, but nothing long-standing. Looking back to those years, I had so many blessings in my life that I didn’t enjoy nor appreciate because my eating disorder prevented any type of joy and appreciation whatsoever.
In 2022, with the encouragement of my husband, I was finally able to acknowledge that I needed professional help, and I agreed to seek treatment. I can’t remember how I was blessed to find Rock Recovery, but I know it was a gift from God.
After the intake call, I was a bit disheartened because I didn’t know how I would pay for treatment. This turned out to be short lived because a few days later I was informed that I was approved for Rock’s sliding scale and therapy would be a fraction of the cost. I spoke with my husband and the fee was within our budget! I was connected with an amazing therapist, and I enrolled in their faith-based groups and their weekly prayer support group. I was also matched with a mentor for a year as a part of the mentorship program they had going at the time. Rock’s New ID group helped me understand my identity in Christ in spite of and apart from my eating disorder, their Lasting Freedom Holiday support group was instrumental to bringing about a successful first holiday season in recovery, and their Lasting Freedom Food Freedom group helped me put down my hatred for my body.
In addition to the truths, strategies, and insights gained from the teachings in these groups, there was tremendous healing found in the experience, strength, and hope passed on from the leaders and from other participants in recovery. All the staff and participants were accepting and encouraging which provided a safe environment to do the work of recovery.
Thanks to this personalized and accepting treatment, I learned and I continue to learn how to process emotions and use my support network to overcome challenges. I now travel without my food scale, measuring cups, and ‘safe’ foods, ready to enjoy the foods at our destination. I attend work and social gatherings that I used to avoid because food would be there. I am available to love the people around me because my mind is not busy counting calories, nor comparing my body to others, nor thinking how to avoid the dessert table, nor planning my next exercise session.
In addition to relationships with my friends, family, God, and myself, we have a tangible miracle as a result of my recovery. After 17 years of amenorrhea, at the age of 43, we welcomed a beautiful baby girl into our family.
If I told you that the lure of disordered eating was completely gone, I would be lying. When I am not spiritually, mentally, physically, or emotionally fit, disordered thoughts are right there ready to pounce. However, Rock has given me the tools necessary to say ‘no’ to these thoughts, and ‘yes’ to life and love, one day at a time. From the sliding scale, to accepting insurance, to the amazing therapists and group leaders who walk alongside us, thank you to all who give to Rock Recovery and make healing possible.
If you relate to Allison’s story and are looking to begin experiencing the same healing and freedom, we invite you to schedule a free consultation to learn more about our therapy or faith support services today. You can click here to learn more.